Life Saver

If you have a baby, plan on having a baby--heck, even if you occasionally come into contact with a baby I think you should read this book.  I read it and two nights later little Gremmie (this is actually what we call her...) slept in two five hour blocks through the night.  I couldn't have been more ecstatic.  I am a big, big fan of sleep.  And, consequently, a big fan of this book. 

Our Mugs

When we signed up to work with an additional adoption agency, we thought it was high time we had some recent professional pictures taken of us and our home for our adoption profile.  I've included the highlights--just in case you were curious.  They were taken by my co-bear den leader (in cub scouts), Julie, of Madeline James Photography.

Baby Gremlin is doing great!  She is currently at a visit with her mother.  I always get stressed out when my foster babies are at visits--they are not in my care and I have no idea who is responsible for them or what happens in the visits.  I know it will be okay, I just can't wait until she comes home in two hours...

Foster Motherhood

Soon after my last blog post, we got a long awaited call from Child Protective Services (it just hit me that most people would not be excited by a call from them...).  We were asked to take placement of a two month old baby girl.  Although we only had her for three weeks--we fell absolutely in love with her and had a wonderful time playing full-time parents for the first time.  The weeks went by after our first little girl went to live with her grandparents.  I kept my phone on me at all times--just waiting for a call with another placement.  On Friday I couldn't take it anymore.  I could no longer resist the urge to call CPS to make sure they knew we had an opening.  The result of my call?   Three hours later they asked us to come pick up a three day old baby girl from the hospital.

Picking her up Friday night was quite the experience.  They had apparently had some problems with the baby's mother wreaking  havoc because she wasn't taking her baby home (really, who could blame her?).  In preperation for us to come pick her up, they hid (yes, hid) the baby in another part of the hospital.  We were escorted by security to get the baby--they even had code names for us on their walkie talkies ("the guardian angels").  When it was time to get to our car we had not one, but two security guards plus a nurse take us to the parking lot.  It was pretty intense.

But now she is here.  We affectionately call her "the gremlin."  Because, really, newborns, look a little wrinkly and disproportionate at first.  But she is beautiful.  And she doesn't like to sleep at night.  And we think she is wonderful.

Although I'd love to, I can't give details about the baby or post pictures (confidentiality stuff, you know).  But I will tell you this--I love being a mother.  Even if it is just temporary.  It all just makes us more anxious to have one of our own.  We decided to start working with an additional adoption agency in Spokane--one that has much shorter wait times than our current agency.  But I really think we will continue to foster after we adopt.

So, if you're ever wondering what I'm doing--I'm most likely changing a diaper, making a bottle, or holding a sleeping baby.  And I'm in heaven.  Except for the no sleep part.

Sadly, Not Sick

Do you ever wish that you were sick so you didn't have to go to work?  Not vomiting, fever, have-to-go-to-the-doctor sick, but just a little achy and maybe a headache?  Last night I told Kameron I was excited because I was feeling a little bit sick.  I was hoping all I would have to do today is stay in my jammies,watch chick-flicks and eat chocolate pudding.   This morning, as I came downstairs for my morning work-out, Kameron asked me,

"Are you sick?"
I said.  "Sadly no." 

And I commenced running.  One of these days though....

Bring it on

Many people ask us how the adoption process is going.  If you are one of these people, I will give you an update.  It can summed up in two words: still waiting.  We are waiting, waiting, waiting. I think I have listened to President Uchdorf's talk about patience about a bazillion times (that is a real number, you know).

While over the past year we have had many positive experiences speaking with different birth mothers, we still have not felt we have found "the one".  The right child, the right birth mother, the right timing, and the right situation.  While I'd like to pretend I am perfectly patient all the time, I'm not.  Sometimes I plead with the Lord that our waiting can be over.  I plead that if we are to keep waiting that I will know exactly how much longer we have to wait (you know--completely undermining the purpose of patience).  This week I was really impatient.  Really, really, impatient.  I told the Lord I did not want to wait any longer.  I was done waiting.  I want a child and I want one now. 

That afternoon we received our first phone call from the adoption worker from the foster care system.  She told me about a child in need of an adoptive placement.  This was completely different from anything we'd experienced.  We were pretty much told " if you want to, you can adopt this child." Whoa.

It was obvious from the description of the situation it was not right for us. But because I was so tired of waiting I kept asking questions; I kept considering the situation.  Finally I knew I had to say no.  And if you do not think that is difficult, think again.  Kameron knew right from the beginning this was not our child but he patiently waited until I figured it out for myself.  I know the Lord was teaching me a lesson: I could adopt a child this very second--but it wouldn't be what we were most hoping for.  It wouldn't be the right situation--not what He had in store for us.  So here we are back to square one.  Just waiting. 
 
 We are "just waiting" but in the meantime we are learning so much.  We are learning about patience, about hope, about trusting in the Lord and in His promises.  We learn how important it is not to put happiness on hold until we get what we desire.  We learn how to pray.  How to wait (and wait and wait).   Please know while we are waiting, we are content.  We are madly in love.  We have great trust in the Lord and know life will work out for our good.  We have no doubt good things are in store.  But we also know there is probably a lot more waiting coming our way as well.  And I say--"bring it on."*

*When I say "bring it on" I'm thinking of The Emperor's New Groove.  You know, the part where the llama  is floating down the river to the waterfall and says: " Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall."  Yep.  "Sharp rocks at the bottom?"  Most Likely.  "Bring it on."  I love that movie:)

A New Kind of Room

There is a new kind of room in the house.  It has two cribs, two car seats, a rocking chair, and a stuffed monkey.  Now don't get too excited, we don't have any adoption plans, but we are expanding our horizons just a little more.  On Friday we had our final home inspection to license for the foster to adopt program.  If you read my post about how intensive the application was for LDS Family Services, take that and times it by three if you want to know what it is like applying to be foster parents.  In addition to the interviews, background checks, etc., Spokane County is especially concerned with your house.  They want you to have beds,car seats, clothing, blankets, etc.  I went to 27 hours worth of training plus a two day CPR certification.  I had to have my external medicines separated from my internal medicines and locked in a box.  I had to have a bath mat and a list of emergency numbers on my fridge.  I had to own a one way CPR mask and have child proof locks on my cleaning cabinet and special cords on my blinds.  I'm telling you--no child is going to have a preventable accident in this house!

We licensed for two children ages 0-2.  The reason we agreed to license for two was so that we could keep siblings together if the situation arose.  I was really nervous to start buying baby supplies. I thought it would be emotional and difficult.  I thought it would be difficult to have an empty nursery in our home.  I thought wrong.

Shopping for baby/toddler clothes was awesome.  My task was to buy clothing for both genders ages 0-2.  Not an easy task.  I've been frequenting my neighborhood child clothing consignment shop--I went a little crazy with the adorable 0-3 month clothes--they're so little! I ended up having to trade them for some older clothing.  I found that little jeans can be just as cute as a newborn onesie.  I've been shopping off Craig's List for cribs, crib mattresses, car seats, high chairs, etc.  It's like a game to see what kind of good deals I can get.

Then has come the task of visiting daycares.  With the foster-to-adopt program there is no guarantee that the children placed in our home will be available for adoption--it is just likely.  So instead of quitting my job as soon as we get a placement and then have the child leave three months later...I'll hold onto my job for awhile longer.  So for now, until we know we will be able to adopt, we'll take advantage of the state paying for daycare.  I feel incredibly guilty just touring daycares.  I always pictured I would stay home and take care of children.  But right now I feel at peace with this plan.

So the room is ready, the background checks are done, the endless training is over...now we are just waiting for our license to go through and then we wait for a placement.  I can't think about it too much or I get a little freaked out--okay--a lot a bit freaked out.  I wish I knew what was going to happen.  I wish I could go to sleep tonight and God would give me a vision of what the next year of my life was going to look like.  But because that is super unlikely, I guess I'll just have to wait it out.  So for now I'm studying What to Expect the Toddler Years, and the American Pediatric Society's Baby's First Year trying to figure out how to take care of a child...

Oh, and did anyone see Inception?  I'm pretty much in love with it.

My Parents Came to Town

While Kameron and I love living in Spokane and we love the adventure of living in new places--there is a definite downside to not living by family.  There is nowhere we can just show up without being invited; no place where we can always spend holidays; and having to plan plane trips or long car rides in order to see my family.

For Christmas we pitched in with my brother and grandparents to fly my parents to come visit us in Spokane.  We are always thrilled to have visitors  (hint to any one planning a vacation). And of course, my parents are some of the best visitors I can think of.  We tried our darndest to be good hosts and show them the finer side of Washington.  Here is a travel log:  (I know not everyone loves travel logs--but please humor me)

We first went to River Front Park (After we ate at Maggies--which has the most amazing sweet potato fries)

I also saw my first 3D movie that night--Toy Story 3 (which was absolutely adorable, by the way.  Best character, hands down, was Ken).  

The next day off we went to Seattle!  We went on a harbor cruise, saw some beaches, went to Pike Market, saw some interesting street musicians and lots of interesting people.  We were even asked to be hand models for a website when we were at Madison Beach (I see fortune and fame coming our way).  I also dragged my parents into Trader Joes.  I think they liked it.

On the way home, my dad posed like Lewis and Clark in front of the Columbia River--which he states he has waited his whole life to see (he is one of those History Channel guys).  We also made a short stop at Snoqualmie Falls (which is pretty much an awesome name for a waterfall)

The next day we picked cherries at Green Bluff,  went to Coeur D'Alene and Manito Park.  Then we crashed and watched some movies in our basement (Matilda and Invictus).  We walked around so much we all slept great every night.

It's always great to be with family.  I am always motivated to be a better person after being with family--I want to make them proud.  I made my parents promise to come again (although I suspect the best way to lure them here was to have a baby to show-off.  But no good news yet on that front).

And the Pit Has Been Broken In....

Ever since I first toured our house I have had dreams of roasting s'mores in the fire pit in the backyard with our friends.  Well--almost exactly one year later my wildest dreams have come true.  I give you:  My fifth of July BBQ.  Guests:  Jenee, Adam, Jenna, Peter, Amberle, Josue, Megan, Brandon, Darcy.  It was wonderful.

Pillows

My fabulous mother-in-law made me some beautiful pillows for my living room.  I just had to show them off:

Thanks Nettie!  I love you!

Loving the Piano

I had my second piano recital last night. I was, by far, my teacher's oldest student (the two boys sitting on the bench with me were the other students).  Does that bother me?  Not really--it's just fun to tease myself about it.  When I first started playing the piano I was playing on a little keyboard.  Sometimes the songs I was supposed to practice during the week had notes high or low enough that I had to imagine I was hitting the key.  As with a lot of things, piano was fun at first, and then I hit a slump.  I wasn't practicing very much and embarrassingly canceled lessons or came unprepared.   Through the devotion of my awesome teacher (I just couldn't let her down!) I kept plugging along, bought a piano (a steal off Craig's List), and tried to do better.

As soon as I graduated from the dinky little songs about snails and butterflies my teacher started giving me music that was at my level but sounded much more "mature."   I started to love to play.  My teacher helped me learn to play my favorite piano song, Fur Elise, which I played last night at my recital.  I've started getting excited about finding music I can play.  I bought the sheet music to the movie Pride and Prejudice (the new one) and there are actually some songs in there I can play.

I'm still at a  VERY basic level., but much less basic than before.  I still goofed a few times during my recital.  But I do have to say I love the piano.

The Weekend of Me

May 8th = My Birthday
May 9th = Mother's Day (I don't have any kids, but I always like to think of Mother's Day as a celebration of women)
May 10th = Our 8th Wedding Anneversary

It's a great time to be me.  Spending time at a lovely bed and breakfast.  Shopping in a Bavarian town.  Eating and eating and eating.  Being able to do all these things with my favorite person in the world (who also happens to be my husband).  It doesn't get much better.

My brother is a missionary  in Paraguay.  I asked him to have a Paraguayan kid draw me a picture for my birthday.  He did one step better:

Right now life is just awesome.

Boys and Cookies

Last week I was in a rush trying to get dinner ready in time to teach a class on cooking with beans in my old ward.  Inevitably, as I was taking out the Morning Star Chik'n Nuggets (we were going gourmet) out of the oven and was trying to do something else simultaneously, I burned my arm, right above my elbow, on the cookie sheet.  It was only a split second of contact but the resulting burn was huge!

I went to work the next day with a ginormous band-aid over my burn.  A very interesting thing happened.  If a female co-worker asked what happened and I told her I burned my arm on a cookie sheet she would say something nice like, "oh, I'm sorry"  or "that looks like it hurts!".

On the other hand, if a male co-worker asked me what happened I would invariably get one of the following responses:

"A cookie sheet?  What kind of cookies did you make?"
"A cookie sheet?  Why didn't you bring in any cookies?"

After I explained that the cookie sheet was not holding cookies, all interest in my burn went away.  Boys and cookies.  That's all I have to say.

Boring is Good

Life is going along quite nicely these days.  Kameron and I are healthy.  We have great jobs.  We have wonderful family and friends.  We're having one of those streaks in life where the days are passing along happily--with nothing too exciting to report (yes, I  just knocked on wood).  In my opinion, these streaks are good.  They help me feel like I have a handle on life and that I can accomplish what I haven't had time for in a while.  I'm not a person who craves drama or excitement.  I'm not someone who has to be entertained all the time.  I'm someone who is content with the quiet moments in life.  It's not like I really have to go looking for drama or excitement--those things seem to come into life no matter what.

I overheard two women talk the other day.  One of the women was talking about her daughter's dating life.  She stated she really liked one of the guys her daughter was dating and was disappointed that her daughter was not interested in continuing the relationship.  Her daughter felt like he was "too boring."  She responded by saying, "Honey, when you get married--you'll love boring." 

Seriously, I couldn't agree more.

Do I sit around all day long?  Heavens no.  Have we gone on some nice little outings?  Of course.  Have I been running around like a crazy person?  Not really (and I'm thankful for that).

So sorry for the lack of posts--there's not so much to report these days.  And I think that is good.

Kitchen Update

I sewed curtains this week.  Shocking, I know, but it's true.  Eventhough I techincally only sewed four straight lines down each curtain I definitely think it counts.  My friend, SarahAnne, is an amazing seamstress and graciously came over to help me get started.  I think they turned out great--just don't get too close.  They're drenched in mistakes.  SarahAnne kept telling me that Monk was not coming to my house and no one would notice where I messed up.  (So, if you're Monk-like (aka: OCD), you may not want to see the picture below....).

I'm awful proud of myself--and super-excited that I one again have privacy in my kitchen.  Kameron also built an awesome shelf for my cookbooks.  He is seriously so amazing--I showed him a picture of what I wanted in a Martha Steward organizing book and he made it--no patterns or anything.  I'm very spoiled to have him.

Because nothing that exciting is going on...

How about some more book reports?


 The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (Annie Barrows and Mary Ann Shaffer).

I loved this book.  I loved it.  I give it tons and tons of stars.  I thought it was absolutely charming and witty.  Whenever I discuss this book with someone else, the comment is always  made that when the book was over we felt like we were losing our friends.  The format of the book is a series of letters from a writer in London, her friends, and a group of people on Guernsey Island.  It is about kindness, friendship, loyalty, coping with war, love....what more could you ask for?  It made me want to write letters (which, unfortunately, I have yet to do).  I highly recommend this one.

The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle (Avi)

I read this book for the book club I started attending last month.  Although I liked the book, I wish I had read it when I was eleven or twelve.  I think then I would have loved it.  It's about a prim and proper girl who boards a ship to see her family in the US.  The happenings on the ship cause her to reflect on what she's been taught her whole life and to find out what she really is made of.  It lacked depth for me but it did have some girl-power in it.  I can never resist girl- power.  I'd recommend reading it to a 10-13 year old girl.  (or reading it if you are a 10-13 year old girl).

                                 
The Uglies, Pretties, and Specials Series (Scott Westerfeld)

I read these books at the urging of some friends of mine.  I am mixed about the series.  They held my interest and I read them quickly.   They made me think about society today and how we treat each other and the environment.  It portrayed a believable and grim picture of the future. There was plenty of girl-power.  But I didn't care for the last book and that put a damper on the first two.  If you like science-fiction-ish books (which isn't always my cup of tea) and want a fun, fast read--go for it.  Let me know what you think.

Designed this way

I am someone who likes to be prepared.  I don't like to go into things completely blind.  I like to know what to expect and I want to know how to tackle the task at hand the best way possible.

I know that if I was pregnant, I would read everything I could get my hands on.  I would want to learn about having a healthy pregnancy, about childbirth, about infant care, what to expect after the baby is born.  I would want to know it all. 

Similarly, knowing adoption is in our future (hopefully sooner than later), I'm trying to learn all I can.  I recently read this beautiful book:

 

The book is written by an adoption worker with LDS Family Services.  It focuses on the journey a birth mother takes when deciding to place her baby for adoption.  It also discusses the feelings of the birth father, grandparents, and aunts and uncles.  The book left me in awe of the amazing sacrifice the birth mother makes in order to give her baby the best life possible.

The book also gave me a strong impression of how involved God is in adoption. I remember when we first met with our adoption worker he told us to remember that we weren't looking for just a baby--we were looking for our baby.  The baby that is meant to come to our home.  While waiting to be selected by a birth mother can be difficult, I'm realizing that having the right child in our home at the right time is worth the wait.  

I was reading a blog yesterday called the r house.  The r house is a family who has adopted two children and are strong advocates of adoption. The mother, Lindsey, shared how she felt when she and her husband found out that they would not be able to have children.  She was unsure about adoption and asked her husband for a priesthood blessing.  The following is from her blog:

 

with the pain of infertility racking my soul with torment, i was suffocating. i remember asking my husband for a blessing. at this time, i didn’t have a testimony of adoption. i was scared. i was uneducated. i was mourning.

while he gave me a beautiful blessing, Heavenly Father whispered a profound message to me. something that has sustained me on the hard days. something perfect. something that brought such clarity.

He said, “Lindsey, sometimes I create people who cannot have children so that there are good homes for children that need one.”

my favorite word in that message is “create.” we are not broken, rather, we were designed to adopt. it was Heavenly Father’s plan for us, our mission, our privilege. that brought me such peace.

with these words and a lot of prayer and soul searching, my heart softened and the sweetness, the miracle, the joy of adoption filled my heart.

I felt Lindsey's words were so beautiful.  I, too, know that God has a plan for all of us.  And for Kameron and me, adoption is that plan.  We were meant to struggle with infertility.  There is a child who will be born to another mother who is meant to come to our family.  It is so comforting to know that it is in God's hands--a God who loves me, knows me, and wants me to be happy.  Kameron and I were made for adoption.

So You Wanna See My Bathroom?

I call my parents every Sunday.  And every Sunday I tell my mom that  I will post pictures of our home improvements.  And then after every Sunday I forget about it.  Well--not today.

Mom--this one's for you:

Here is the finished product of our bathroom:

 

Our walls are a deep blue and we have white bead board on the bottom half.  I spent a century looking for my shower curtain.  I love it!

  

This is Kameron's fancy tile work.  Not bad for his first tile project, eh?

 This is our laundry chute.  I could write an entire post on how much I love our laundry chute--I'm just afraid it wouldn't be that exciting.  My mother-in-law painted the words on the door when she came to visit us for Thanksgiving.

 Here is a view of our mirror and bath cabinet.

 And here is a lovely shot of our clock that I have been asked if we got at Restoration Hardware.  No, we got it at Shopko for $8.  It makes me love it all the more...

I'm rather proud of ourselves.  Click here for the before pictures.

We are still plugging away at the kitchen.  Fixing up the kitchen is not my favorite-simply because when the kitchen is a disaster--everything else seems so chaotic.  Why is that?  We refinished the windows, put up bead board, and painted the bottom half green....there is still more to go but at least our kitchen is usable again.  I am planning on sewing curtains for the windows--my first real sewing venture--more to come...

 

Please look to the left of this photo and notice the door Kameron refinished.  I love it!  And it took him more hours than he cares to admit.

 

This is the window above our sink.  

Here is another shot of our breakfast nook.

And there you have it!  More to come!