Bring it on

Many people ask us how the adoption process is going.  If you are one of these people, I will give you an update.  It can summed up in two words: still waiting.  We are waiting, waiting, waiting. I think I have listened to President Uchdorf's talk about patience about a bazillion times (that is a real number, you know).

While over the past year we have had many positive experiences speaking with different birth mothers, we still have not felt we have found "the one".  The right child, the right birth mother, the right timing, and the right situation.  While I'd like to pretend I am perfectly patient all the time, I'm not.  Sometimes I plead with the Lord that our waiting can be over.  I plead that if we are to keep waiting that I will know exactly how much longer we have to wait (you know--completely undermining the purpose of patience).  This week I was really impatient.  Really, really, impatient.  I told the Lord I did not want to wait any longer.  I was done waiting.  I want a child and I want one now. 

That afternoon we received our first phone call from the adoption worker from the foster care system.  She told me about a child in need of an adoptive placement.  This was completely different from anything we'd experienced.  We were pretty much told " if you want to, you can adopt this child." Whoa.

It was obvious from the description of the situation it was not right for us. But because I was so tired of waiting I kept asking questions; I kept considering the situation.  Finally I knew I had to say no.  And if you do not think that is difficult, think again.  Kameron knew right from the beginning this was not our child but he patiently waited until I figured it out for myself.  I know the Lord was teaching me a lesson: I could adopt a child this very second--but it wouldn't be what we were most hoping for.  It wouldn't be the right situation--not what He had in store for us.  So here we are back to square one.  Just waiting. 
 
 We are "just waiting" but in the meantime we are learning so much.  We are learning about patience, about hope, about trusting in the Lord and in His promises.  We learn how important it is not to put happiness on hold until we get what we desire.  We learn how to pray.  How to wait (and wait and wait).   Please know while we are waiting, we are content.  We are madly in love.  We have great trust in the Lord and know life will work out for our good.  We have no doubt good things are in store.  But we also know there is probably a lot more waiting coming our way as well.  And I say--"bring it on."*

*When I say "bring it on" I'm thinking of The Emperor's New Groove.  You know, the part where the llama  is floating down the river to the waterfall and says: " Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall."  Yep.  "Sharp rocks at the bottom?"  Most Likely.  "Bring it on."  I love that movie:)