One of the most stressful parts of being a foster parent is visitation between your foster children and their parents. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for visitation. I believe it is a right for the parent and for the child. But, oh, does it come with stress.
First off, small kids obviously have a hard time verbalizing their feelings about really complicated issues (like being in foster care). After visits my two year old is hyper--really hyper. Super clingy. Extra-naughty. Really whiny. If his mother doesn't come to a visit--guess what? He's super hyper, clingy, naughty and whiny. It's the classic Catch 22, no? My two year old's mother has not come to a visit in about a month. The difficult behavior comes in waves as he realizes he hasn't seen his mother in a while. Stressful? You bet.
My baby goes to regular visits with her father. The visits are always during her nap time. She always comes home tired, whiny, clingy and cranky (sound familiar?).
One fateful day the kids both came home from a visit at the same time. It was pandemonium.
The hardest part is having sweet children you love and care for away from you for a few hours. It wouldn't be so bad except what happens at visits is confidential. I don't get to know how they behaved. I don't get to know what they talked about or what they played. I don't get to know if it was a positive experience. I just know they go.
If all this is difficult for me--it must be a million more times difficult for the little ones.
Shall I write about something happy? I think I should.
It's warming up and we've been going outside. We had Nutella and graham crackers for a snack this afternoon. I'm pumped to be able to assemble my first Easter baskets later this month. I watched the movie Tangled while I ran on the treadmill this week--I thought it was adorable.
There, I've ended on a positive note:)
2 comments:
You are truly amazing! I'm pretty sure I tell you that every time I comment on your blog, but you can never hear it enough, right?
Emily, I hope you don't mind me reading your blog. I wanted to tell you how much I admire you and your strength. honestly. I love reading your post and hearing about your life. I have three children of my own. I feel blessed. And I am so grateful there are mommies out there like you, who open their home to children that have had a hard life. These children who come into your home are so blessed to have you. Keep up the awesome things you do. I wish there were more like you. :)
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